Adult Education at Oak Park Temple

November 21, 1997 by Susan Weiss

I have been asked to talk about how adult education at Oak Park Temple has changed my life: I used to be a tall, willowy brunette. Actually, I have to say that the experience has transformed me from marginal in my Judaism to committed.

I grew up as a Reform Jew, but for many years as a single adult, I was only nominally Jewish. I had lots of questions, problems, things I just didn't like about being Jewish, but for a long time, I was able to ignore them. Adopting two children was what forced me to face some of the most difficult questions: Did I want my children to be Jewish? Did I want to be Jewish? And, if yes to the above, how would I do this? The answers I discovered were Yes, Yes and I haven't a clue.

One thing I was sure of was I wasn't going to send my kids off for a religious education while neglecting my own. And when I started getting involved in the congregation, I found it essential to learn more. Things were really different than when I was growing up; there was much more Hebrew( I could no longer get by with knowing just the Sch'ma.) There was lots of ritual-- some of which was meaningful, some strange, uncomfortable and frankly distasteful.

I know that for some people the connection with Judaism is through ritual and practice, intuition, sounds, smells, tastes, and I don't deny the validity of these.. My style has always been the opposite. I can more often reach my heart through my head than vice versa. Embracing all these new-for-me facets without thinking was not an option for me. But the prospect of studying and learning more did engage and fascinate me.

Among the courses offered adult Hebrew classes stood out for me. I have a facility for languages, and I'm intrigued by language, which I view as not just words or a means to communicate, but as a road to understanding the perceptions of the people who used the language--in this case prayer book Hebrew( I've never been interested in modern Hebrew).

I started with the Hebrew marathon about 5 years ago. This is the two day introduction-- which I see as a kind of desensitization. The members of the congregation who taught the course were enthusiastic and seemed to actively strive to reduce any pressure and to increase pleasure-- they even had pieces of candy on our books when we walked in. We weren't pressed to study, memorize or perform. We had songs, lots of food and even calisthenics when we got tired of sitting. It was painless. I'm not sure how much actual Hebrew I learned. I did pick up some of the letters and patterns of the language, overcame a kind of fear about the strangeness of Hebrew and had a lot of fun.

Importantly, I came away eager to learn more. I joined the next level course, which was once a week for several months and focused on reading and pronunciation sans comprehension. After that, I joined the course with the green book--which some of us affectionately called "Prayerbook Hebrew the Hard Way." This was a two year course in which we did learn translation and grammar and syntax, and there were expectations and homework. But by this time, I was hooked and couldn't stop. This course was taught by Rabbi Gerson, and some of the best parts were extensions from the language to more general topics. For example, some prayers-- notably the Aleinu--use the phrase Melech Malachai Hamlachim--The King of the King of Kings; given a culture in which there were many competing gods or kings gave this a meaning other than sheer hyperbole--though I like the hyperbole too.

When that course ended, I knew I wanted to continue, but I thought I had" bottomed out" in terms of the courses offered here. So I was happy to hear that a cantillation course was being offered and eagerly joined. However, I was taken aback when I was asked a scary question: Did I intend to pursue adult Bat Mitzvah? This seemed like the Big Time. Disregarding the fact that 13- year-olds do this all the time, this seemed like something other people did--people who were Hebrew scholars, had wonderful voices, self-confidence oozing from every pore. Moreover, I imagined people who took this step had no doubts or conflicts about Judaism and their Jewish identity. In short, this didn't seem to be me. But---I answered Yes and I did it, and in the process, found a group of people--the adult B'nai Mitzvah class who had many of the same concerns and doubts that I had.

It soon became apparent that I needed to venture from the little cocoon of strictly Hebrew language into the wider world of Judaic learning. Learning to read, chant and even translate Torah would have been quite unfulfilling without exploring Torah more--what it meant then and what it means now. I'm a newcomer to the Torah Study group, which has been in existence for 16 years. Some of the members have been in the group since it began--with the same enthusiasm and wonder for this amazing document.

I also began to read more about Judaism, and I discovered that Oak Park Temple offers a Jewish book group, in which I get to discuss some books that I wanted to read anyway. I've also attended lots of lectures and mini-courses. Most have been free. Some--one in particular-- called forth rage. But all have been stimulating and thought-provoking.

I've been quite selective about the courses I've participated in, which is good; if I gave in to my temptations in this regard, I'd have to have my mail delivered here.

In assessing my experience in adult education at Oak Park Temple, I have three general comments (and then I promise to stop):

The first is that praying in a language that our ancestors used 3,000 years ago is an experience that I cannot adequately describe (but I'm going to try anyway). I suppose the kids would call it "awesome," (though my daughter tells me no one uses that word any more). Certainly awe is a big part of it, and a sense of connection with the past that I had never experienced before. I have a personal anecdote which I haven't told very many people--because as I've mentioned earlier--I'm not a mystical person; among the course offerings is a Kabbalah course which is one I'm sure I'm going to take a pass on-- But while our class was preparing for the B'nai Mitzvah--after we had learned our portions fairly well, we began to have class sometimes here in the sanctuary and to use the actual Torahs. During the first such session, I was taking my turn, chanting my portion and doing quite well, I thought,--hitting all the notes right and getting even the parts I had had trouble with before. But still I could hear the Cantor and members of the class chanting with me, as if they were cuing me or didn't think I could do it on my own. At one point, I looked to them, rather annoyed, and it was only then that I noticed that nobody else was making a sound--nobody had made a sound the entire time I was chanting. I won't try to explain or interpret that for you, but the effect on me was quite profound.

My second observation is that learning with the members of the congregation here has been a huge part of the "wonderfulness" of all these experiences. In what I sometimes perceive as an era of schlock and slogans passing for knowledge, I find incredibly bright, thoughtful people here. I find this intimidating sometimes, but always challenging. Interestingly, I also find it supportive. There are people who are further along in their studies than I am, others not as far. There are people and positions that I'm sure I will disagree with until my dying day. But they have never questioned and I have never questioned my right to be there thinking the way I do at any point.

Finally, I have become aware that at some point in my journey through adult ed here, (which is not over by any means) I signed on the dotted line. I accepted Judaism with all of its and my warts and imperfections. Have all of my questions and concerns been resolved? Absolutely not! I still have a love-hate relationship with Judaism and with the Jewish people, with Torah, certainly with Israel and even with God. But it's all who and what I am, and, while it won't teach me the best way to make Cappuccino, for most of the other important things it has the answers I need. I haven't found all of them yet and probably won't in my lifetime, but I believe they're there, and I'm committed to keep searching.